Off Limits Read online

  Luke nodded, taking the bank statement off her and checking the numbers himself. “What’s this from?” He placed the sheet of paper back on the table, and pointed to a number. I knew that it was going to be the money I’d given. We’d only gotten money for the couple of weeks we’d worked so far this month, but it was still a pretty substantial amount as far as I was concerned.

  I hoped Angela had come up with a decent excuse.

  “They started paying me in a separate payment for my overtime,” she explained, voice steady and believable. “Weird, but apparently that’s the way the new system is going to be.”

  “You didn’t work that much overtime this month, and your normal work total is practically the same as normal,” he folded the paper. “Mum, I hope you’re not doing anything different to normal. You know we have this under control now.”

  “I’m not, I wouldn’t lie about something like that. The numbers just worked out weird this time. We had some mandatory meetings that were given as overtime and the rate went up a tiny bit. It’s just been a weird month at work.”

  “A weird month you didn’t mention until now?”

  She shrugged, staring at the folded paper without very much confidence. “I just didn’t want you to be stressed with any of it.”

  “Mum, you always tell me this stuff. What’s going on? You know we got into this mess by my dad doing stupid stuff… I don’t want you to get into anything bad either.”

  “I never would!”

  I listened to their argument with guilt weighing on my conscience. Angela was doing everything to stop me being dropped in at and having to listen to her son’s doubts. I tugged on my hair and was forced to admit that “the money’s from me.”

  Both gazes snapped to mine, Angela’s guilty and Luke’s surprised. “What?”

  “I just, wanted to help out since my parents are kind of screwed.” I looked up at him hopefully. “I don’t want you to be annoyed or anything.”

  Luke sighed, standing up and beginning to pace. “Mum, can I speak to Carmen alone for a minute?”

  “Of course,” she hurried out of the room with an apologetic look in my direction.

  I stood up, too, clasping my hands in front of myself. “I didn’t want you to find out in case you thought I was just being a dick or something, and I figured if you got rid of your debt problem quicker then yours and Ph-”

  I was stopped from saying his girlfriend’s name by lips on mine. Luke had swooped in, hands cupping my face and lips pressing against mine in a surprisingly soft embrace. My eyes slipped shut, even though they should have widened in horror, and I stood on my tiptoes so Luke wasn’t having to break his back, fitting my body against his.

  When my hands curled into his hair, my heart pounded and I really tried to shove Phoebe from my brain because this was the most emotional kiss I’d ever had.

  Eventually, reason won out.

  We’d broken away from an open-mouthed kiss to breathe, our bodies moulded perfectly and our noses brushing together, when Luke let out a shuddering breath and told me I had to leave.

  “I know,” I stepped away, shoving my hands in my pockets to stop them doing anything stupid. “I know, I’m so sorry,” even though it was him who had kissed me, I felt the tears welling in my eyes. I’d done this entire thing because I fancied him and it had worked.

  He’d kissed his girlfriend’s best friend.

  I fled the room, shoving my feet into my shoes and opening the door with blurry vision. I felt a hand on my arm and jumped. Angela’s sad expression met mine. “I just want you to know that you’re better for him than she ever could be.”

  It was cheesy and stupid and I didn’t want to hear it. I couldn’t be better than Phoebe, because Phoebe was his girlfriend and that was all that mattered.

  I slammed the door behind me without another word. I didn’t want Angela to think I was mad at her, but I didn’t have the willpower to speak to her either. I just needed to get home and sit in my self-loathing whilst I attempted to figure out what I was going to tell Phoebe.

  Because she had to be told something, really.

  It was only fair, when I’d done something like this.

  I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly realising that the wind was whipping at my exposed arms. I’d left my jumper in Luke’s car. Tears streamed down my face.

  When a car pulled up beside me, I jumped and feared the worst. I’d been stupid enough to walk into the streets when some madman was after us.

  Thankfully, it was only my mum. “What are you doing out here?”

  I stared past her at the man in the passenger seat. He looked like my dad. “I was walking home from Luke’s.” Maybe she hadn’t noticed the tears yet. It was incredibly dark outside.

  “Get in, I’ll give you a lift home.” I wiped my eyes on the way to the back seat, knowing it probably hadn’t done much more than smudging my make-up. “What’s happened? Is there something wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong, just the wind making my eyes water.” As good an excuse as any, I supposed. I tried to get a good luck at my mum’s new boyfriend, after confirming that it definitely wasn’t my dad sat in the passenger seat. “I’m Carmen, nice to meet you.”

  “Richard. I would shake your hand, but it’s a bit awkward in the car,” he chuckled, obviously uncomfortable. My mother probably hadn’t skimped on the details of how angry I was.

  I forced out a laugh, before going back to my sulking. Pleasantries were over and done with and I wasn’t affected by the awkward silence that took over the car.

  It was when I sniffled that my mum turned around. “Oh, tell me what’s wrong.” I could see her eyebrows had knitted together, even in the near darkness. “Why were you walking home alone?”

  “I just had an argument with Luke, it’s not even a big deal.”

  When she reached back and took my hand in hers, I resisted the urge to flinch. I hadn’t touched my mother in over two weeks. “You can always talk to me. I’m sure whatever you’ve fallen out about isn’t worth your tears.”

  And that was when I really burst into tears. I scrubbed at my eyes to shield my face, but my mother looked utterly forlorn. “It’s really nothing,” I repeated, voice broken. “Nothing important. I’m just overreacting.” There was no way I could tell her what I’d just done when I continued to blame her for my dad leaving. I supposed we were both just bad people.

  “You can always talk to me,” she repeated, squeezing my knee now my hands were out of reach. “I’ll always be here.”

  “I know. Thanks. I think I just need some sleep. It’s really not a big deal.”

  I felt my phone vibrate against my thigh a few minutes later and saw Luke’s name on the display.

  Please let me come and pick you up. You can’t walk home alone.

  I really tried not to let myself smile, but the corner of my lips still turned up. I let him know my mum had picked me up in the shortest number of words, but clung tight to my phone and wished there was an easy solution to this.

  My lips shouldn’t have still been tingling and I shouldn’t still have been focusing on it, but I had to have tonight before I was completely consumed by guilt.

  I’d finally gotten to kiss Luke, and it was as good as I could have imagined.

  Chapter Eight

  It was with a stony expression that I pulled into the school car park the next morning. I wasn’t prepared to face Luke at all, and I definitely wasn’t capable of having a conversation with Phoebe. I had my day all planned out – I wasn’t with either of them in lessons today and at lunchtime, the library would be my safety zone.

  It was foolproof.

  I could avoid this problem until it just went away, was what I attempted to tell myself. There was no point in remembering that I was supposed to be working with Luke tonight, and nearly every night after that.

  Getting through the school day was my only priority right now.

  I’d gotten to school later than normal to further this plan. U
nfortunately, it had left me stuck parked next to Jamie. He was sat in his car, scribbling something into his school diary, but the moment I stepped out of my car, he opened his passenger door and invited me in. “Forgot to get my mum to sign it this week. I don’t even know why we still have to do this at nearly eighteen. I thought it would stop after the age of ten.”

  I chuckled, leaning over to check out his poorly forged signature. “Yeah, it’s pretty stupid. Loads of schools don’t even bother with school uniform for sixth form anymore, but we get sent home if our tights have got a rip in.” There was no way this was preparing us for university.

  “I know, right? My cousin doesn’t even call his teachers miss and sir, just their first names. Our school really messed this whole adult thing up. Anyway, I pulled you in here because I wanted to ask you something. The other day you were saying about my grandparents and stuff and I just wanted to say that I did have a reason for really not wanting to stay in this weekend.”

  I raised an eyebrow. I already knew where this was going. “Go on.”

  “I was hoping to ask you out somewhere. My grandparents decided they’re going out for dinner by themselves on the Friday anyway, so I’m actually free, if you did want to do something.”

  He sent me an impish smile and I hoped he couldn’t tell mine was fake. Jamie was nice, he was a nice and available guy and I should have been all over him. “I’d love to.” It was one date, that wasn’t enough to string him on, but it was enough to see if maybe I could transfer my affections for Luke onto him instead.

  Nice and available. That was what I needed.

  Jamie beamed, shoving his planner back into his back and tapping his feet. “That’s awesome. I’ll pick you up at seven. It’s nowhere fancy, just a little Italian, that all right?” He’d obviously planned it all out before asking me.

  “That’s great.”

  “Okay, well, we should really dash. I think we’re seriously late now, but it was definitely worth it.”

  I chuckled and got out of the car, trying to hold back any kind of depressing emotions. This was a good thing; I had a date, which was something I hadn’t done in forever. My one real relationship hadn’t been great and I’d not had much luck since then. This was a great development in my love life.

  I practically walked into Luke when I stood up and it caused me to jump, stepping backwards automatically. “We need to talk.” It was a monotone statement, but Luke’s expression gave away all the distaste he felt. “Now.”

  Jamie grinned as he stepped out of the driver’s seat and I cringed. If he mentioned our date I’d die inside. “Hey mate, I’m gonna head to class. Guess we’re all late today.”

  “Sure thing, see you later, then.”

  “See you Jamie,” I called, praying that was it. He continued to grin at me, but that was all.

  Luke made a noise of irritation, before pointing to a café over the road. “Come on, let’s get this over and done with.”

  I nodded and followed, trailing slightly behind and staring up at the back of his head. I really didn’t want this, it was everything I’d been hoping to avoid. What was even the point in talking about it? It was in my head, running on replay, I didn’t need to say anything out loud. I needed to stay as far away from Luke as was humanly possible.

  We slid into a booth in the corner, sitting opposite each other. It was a quaint little café, with only a few tables and classic gingham table cloths. I stared at the gathering of flowers at the centre of the table and resisted the urge to check whether they were fake. “What is there to say about it?”

  Luke didn’t get time to respond, because an older lady had approached our table with pen and paper in hand. She eyed our uniforms suspiciously, but it couldn’t have been too surprising. We did have free periods and this café must have been a frequented destination. “What can I get you two?”

  “A cappuccino, please,” Luke had only glanced at the menu, whilst I studied it in detail. I pulled a face at his choice. I’d never been able to stomach coffee.

  “Just a hot chocolate for me, please.”

  She took note and whisked herself behind the counter to get the drinks ready. Hot chocolate was normally hit or miss, so I hoped I’d made the right choice. “Do you think we should tell Phoebe?” Luke brought our conversation right to the topic at hand.

  “Of course we should tell Phoebe. We did a really shit thing.” It was the obvious answer and we both knew it. Telling Phoebe was the only real option.

  Luke frowned and nodded. “I guess that’s settled then. There isn’t really much to talk about.”

  The woman placed down our drinks and we both thanked her with a false smile.

  “How long have you been friends with Phoebe?” Luke sipped on his drink and burnt his tongue. In any other situation, I would have laughed loudly.

  I pretended to think about it. “Ten years. Ever since she moved to Sheffield. We sat together in all our lessons.”

  “You can’t tell her. I’m going to break up with her and that’s that. It’ll all be forgotten about and you can stay friends. I think that’s fair.” I was expecting it to be painful for Luke to say that, but he just looked despondent, staring into his drink. “It was my fault. I kissed you. I’m going to break up with her, but you should get to stay friends.”

  “I can’t-”

  “Yes, you can. I guess there wasn’t really much to talk about, huh?”

  I finally tried my drink, glad for the distraction, and found it was one of the bad ones. She’d just used water and no milk. “What about us?”

  “There is no ‘us’.”

  “You know that’s not what I meant,” I snapped. I didn’t expect there to be an ‘us’ just because Phoebe had moved out of the picture. “I meant that we work together, and that I’m supposed to be helping out with your German.”

  “I can’t quit my job.” He was still staring at the cup, either unable or unwilling to look up at me. I was being so selfish here, getting to keep Phoebe whilst Luke gave her up. I should explain exactly what happened and get it over and done with. She could start university next year with a clean slate; without a cheating boyfriend and best friend.

  I gripped my cup until it was painful. “I’d quit, if that was what you wanted.”

  “It’s not. I don’t want any of this, at all.”

  I sighed, trying to fish out a marshmallow. “I don’t want any of this either. I’ll keep my job and see how it goes. I still want to give you half my pay check.”

  “I feel awful taking your money.”

  “Why? I’m offering it. I don’t need it, I just want to help. It’s not really a big deal.” I couldn’t play the excuse that I was doing it for the benefit of their relationship anymore, anyway.

  Luke finally looked up, giving me a small, real smile. I smiled back automatically. “Thank you. I really, really appreciate it.”

  “It’s fine, really.”

  We lapsed into a weird silence and I felt tears prickling at the corner of my eyes. I wondered when the next time I’d have a normal conversation with Luke would be. It had just been getting good; we’d figured out a good relationship with actual conversation and playful jabs rather than mean ones. Now, work would be awful and seeing each other in school would be non-existent.

  Especially if he found out I was going out with Jamie, which was inevitable when they were such good friends.

  I should tell him now, rip the band aid off and get it over and done with. I stared and his downcast expression, ready to open my mouth, before deciding I was being an idiot. I was thinking of telling him because I thought he’d be annoyed or angry, but he was mourning the loss of Phoebe, not me. I’d been a stupid mistake that had cost him his girlfriend.

  The tears came back, but I blinked them away as best as possible. “We should go,” I ground out, leaving half my drink and standing up. “There’s no point in sitting around and talking about this stuff anymore. We’ve figured everything out, right?” I was bitter and not go
od at hiding it. It didn’t matter what Luke thought of me. He probably loathed me, or would, in the near future.

  “Oh, sure. I guess so.” He stood up, leaving half his drink, too. “I guess that is everything.”

  I pulled out my purse and tipped far too much, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get out of here and being forced to talk to the owner wasn’t part of that plan. “Well-”

  I was engulfed in a hug, my face smushed into Luke’s chest. His arms were so tight around me it was almost painful, but I revelled in it. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of my head. “I think it would have been better if you taught me German a few months ago,” he whispered with a choked voice and a tear slipped down my cheek.